2005 Comes to a Close

Here we are, only hours away from the beginning of 2006. It's hard to believe the new year is actually upon us. I was finally just getting used to writing "2005". I'm sure you've seen plenty of "The Year in Review" by now, so I won't take up your time with yet another one.

Enjoy your celebrations and be safe.

Crispy

US-CERT TA05-362A -- Microsoft Windows Metafile Handling Buffer Overflow

Technical: http://www.us-cert.gov/cas/techalerts/TA05-362A.html

Crispy

A Different Christmas Poem

I was sitting in church on Christmas morning, watching & listening to what was being said. I can't remember what was said that triggered the next chain of thoughts, but I suddenly realized some of my friends were spending their very first Christmas away from home. Not only were they away from home, but they were in a foreign country. They were spending it at war, in a desert. They weren't with their loved ones; I don't even know if they had a simple tree. Then I realized, that while I sat in my seat, there was a soldier on the other side of the world sitting in a fighting position along the Korean DMZ, probably in freezing weather. I could see him lying there in the prone, shivering, fighting off the urge to just go to sleep. I could see him holding the M-16 to his shoulder, his gloved hands against the cold plastic and metal.

People really don't realize that the military is standing guard 24/7. There is always someone on watch. When it is warm, when it is cold, they are always there. To any deployed soldiers who may read this: Thanks, guy.

This is the poem that I was looking for to post on Christmas.

A DIFFERENT CHRISTMAS POEM

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,

I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.

My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,

My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.

Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,

transforming the yard to a winter delight.

The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,

completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.

My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,

Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.

In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,

So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,

But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.

Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know,

Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.

My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,

And I crept to the door just to see who was near.

Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,

a lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.

A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,

Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.

Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,

standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,

"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!

Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,

You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,

Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..

To the window that danced with a warm fire's light.

Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,

I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."

"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,

That separates you from the darkest of times.

No one had to ask or beg or implore me,

I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.

My Gramps died at 'Pearl on a day in December,"

Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."

My dad stood his watch in the jungles of 'Nam,'

And now it is my turn and so, here I am.

I've not seen my own son in more than a while,

But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.

Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,

The red, white, and blue... an American flag.

"I can live through the cold and the being alone,

Away from my family, my house and my home.

I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,

I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.

I can carry the weight of killing another,

Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..

Who stand at the front against any and all,

To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."

"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,

Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."

"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,

"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?"

It seems all too little for all that you've done,

For being away from your wife and your son."

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,

"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.

To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,

To stand your own watch, no matter how long.

For when we come home, either standing or dead,

To know you remember we fought and we bled.

Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,

That we mattered to you as you mattered to us.

Crispy

Filler

-Satan's Laundromat has two new sets up.

-CD is bored and his double bass is throwing him for a loop. He also had a pretty good link - "Super Retarded Dog".

-Two females I know think they're really in love with their boyfriends. I think they both just need a cold shower.

-A relative of mine claims that her former-fiance (they got disengaged [her second disengagement?]) is her current boyfriend. When that came up I was thinking "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot". He's not good enough to marry, but you'll still... uhh, date him, among other things? Sure, that makes tons of sense!

-WaMi isn't dead after all! He put up a Christmas post.

-BKP has some decent footage of a fire-fight and subsequent air strike (500, not 5000).

-People really need to get over the whole tsunami thing.

-The "three weird sisters" (witches) in Macbeth are believed to be what are known in the occult community as "Fates".

-Palestine is Jordan.

-This loon said he was Satan.

-This kid got a knife stuck between his eyes. A lot of good scouting did for him!

-Harry Potter is not the kind of thing you want your son or daughter to be reading or watching... unless you want to grow a shape-shifting witch.

-I was hanging from individual nails embedded in a cement ceiling today, multiple times, in an attempt to remove them. My weight finally overcame their load capacity.

-I devised a system in about 20 minutes this morning to effectively end the insurgency in Iraq (without the use of nuclear weapons OR carpet bombing).

-A friend of mine got some new power tools for Christmas. He was seen using a sawzall on a ~44oz. Styrofoam cup today.


Crispy

Safety Briefing

If you happen to find a stranger wearing a big red suit with a long white beard in your home either late this evening or early tomorrow morning, you should probably shoot him because Santa Clause Isn't Real.

Now that we have the administrative notices out of the way, I hope you all have an excellent Christmas. As I always emphasize, spend time with your families because you never know when the last time may be. Also, remind your stressed out relatives around that the point behind this holiday is not milk & cookies, "Happy Holidays", the laboratory-clean house, "Season's Greetings", or even Donner und Blitzen. If you've got young children, start a tradition this year by reading them the real Christmas story. Tell them about how the Roman Empire had expanded their power into modern-day Israel. Tell them about how the government interrupted their lives and ordered everyone to report to their home towns for a census. Tell them about the full Motel 6 and Days Inn. Tell them the whole story about how the shepherds saw the sky filled with angels. And please, don't tell them the wise guys were at the birth place because they weren't. They entered a few scenes later.

Let your children know the truth. If they don't hear it from you, who will tell them?

Merry Christmas,
Crispy

Vox Hits the Nail on the Head, Once More

"On marital disintegration"

Being in varying degrees of proximity to a relationship or three which appear to be foundering - or have already sunk into the depths - there's a common theme I've noted. Perhaps the most important is that while both sexes are more than a little confused about their proper roles in a functioning marriage, it's the wives who seem particularly out to sea with regards to their priorities.

It might help, I think, for some women to remember what their vows are centered on, and the special role they have taken in their husband's lives. Seriously, with the priorities I've seen some women display, I can only wonder what job they thought they were signing up for.

If you worry more about what you're going to serve a man for dinner than how you're going to rock his world later, you're not his wife, you're his cook.

If you spend more time obsessing about the last time you cleaned the house than the last time you had sex, you're not his wife, you're his cleaning lady.

If the children are always your top priority at all times, then you're not his wife, you're the nanny - or maybe just the day care center.

It's not that these things are unimportant, but while they're important, they are properly secondary concerns in a marriage. Your husband didn't vow before God and Man to be faithful to your cooking and to never eat at another restaurant, after all. And sure, there will be times you're not in the mood or whatever, but you might want to consider this: would you consider that reasonable grounds for him refusing to pay the mortage or the health insurance? Sex, like love, is a choice. If you're always waiting for things to magically happen and sweep you away, you need to grow up and quit sleeping with the stuffed unicorn with the rainbows on it.

From what I've seen, there's no shortage of men and women who simply don't take marriage very seriously and refuse to accept any responsibilities within it. But failing to accept them doesn't mean they don't exist and that there won't be consequences for doing so.

(As for those pathetic women who can find four hours to watch sitcom sexcapades on TV every night but can't find an hour for the real thing, you'd be wise to buy your husband a subscription to the porn site of his preference and budget for a call girl once a month if you don't want to wind up collecting cats and alimony.)

There's a reason why call girls make considerably more money per hour than cooks, cleaners and day care workers, after all. This is because the service they provide is significantly more important to men.

I don't condone my acquaintances who leave their frigid wives and move on to friendlier climes with a free-at-last smile on their faces, but it's certainly no mystery why they would do so, leaving behind a woman who laments how she can't imagine what went wrong when she was such a perfect cook, housekeeper and mother.

God is good. He knew what he was doing when he gave us Chinese takeout, the Roomba and early bedtimes.

Vox Day does it again, ladies and gentlemen! Encore!

Crispy

US-CERT ST05-019 -- Preventing and Responding to Identity Theft

Non-technical: http://www.us-cert.gov/cas/tips/ST05-019.html

Crispy

US-CERT TA05-347A -- Microsoft Internet Explorer Vulnerabilities

Technical: http://www.us-cert.gov/cas/techalerts/TA05-347A.html
Non-technical: http://www.us-cert.gov/cas/alerts/SA05-347A.html

Crispy

And It Is Over!

Finals are over, yay. I'll be taking a break from post for the next few days, unless I get some strange compulsion to write yet another essay. Heaven forbid such a thing.

Crispy

A Set of Keys

This post isn't for everyone. Some won't understand. Some know how to apply it and even others will simply be unable to apply because they aren't, quite honestly, the caliber of a lady it takes to do such a thing.

A small, simple key can open doors that would otherwise take hours or even days worth of work to open. In some cases, the doors are impenetrable. But with the right key, you can gain access to the greatest of rooms. Locks, which keys open, restrict access. If you have the right key, you are qualified to enter and see and enjoy what is inside. Would you rather rest in a room with unrestricted access, or would you prefer to rest in a place that is untouched, ordered and secure?

Ladies, let me give you a few keys to finding a true gentleman.

1) Don't be "that girl" at a party, if you go. Don't be the one that's drunk & starts random conversations will guys. Not only is this extremely annoying, but it is also quite embarrassing for you when the guys start giving each other the "What's her deal?" look in between your verbal diarrhea. You want to know what I really respect? That's a lady that doesn't drink. Girls are freaking brutal with their nagging once they get something set in their minds. If you can resist that time and again, you have my respect.

2) Be a lady, not a woman. Just because you might have it doesn't mean that everyone needs to see it. If you're going to show it, its fair game for play (in the mind of the average male). Sorry, simple fact. In my mind, if you're showing it, you're dying for attention and have the discretion of a gnat. 100% honest - Though I may glance a time or two, that's all you're getting. You can get lost after that point.

3) Don't hide your intellect. On the contrary, develop it. Read books, watch movies & then analyze & tear them to shreds. Develop opinions and be able to give reasons why (other than, "I don't know. That's just what I think," which I have heard on many an occasion!). Know what you believe and why. Don't waste time on memorizing the records of the top ten teams in the SEC. Heck, I can't even name 5 teams in the SEC. When a girl starts babbling about sports, you could just as quick fire up a wood chipper next to me cuz I'm not listening. Is it because I think sports are evil? No. Ask yourself this question, is that game going to affect your life in some significant way? In all likelihood, no. Heck, I'm one of the loudest yellers at a game, but once its over, its over. I don't care. There are better things you can be spending your time on than watching a bunch of overpaid, half of which are fat (overweight or "obese", for the PC crowd) so-called athletes chance a pig-skin around a 300ft long fairway.

4) Be a communicator. The art of conversation has been lost. There are very few people that still understand how it works. Work on your communication skills (and apply that intellect). Try sentences with more words than "like"s or "umm"s.

5) Don't watch "Sex and the City". This theory is still being developed, but I'm beginning to notice a connection between controlling & generally (sorry) bitchy girls and people who watch that show. While you're at it, forget about "The OC", "Laguna Beach" and all that other garbage either. No one needs that much drama. Also, sorry to pop your bubble with this one, but that's not how the real world operates either.

6) Talk to the right one. Inside every man are two people: A King and a Fool. Whichever one you speak to, stands up.

7) Be self sufficient. There is nothing more annoying that a female that has to be with a guy at all times, boyfriend or not.

8) Be something special. The common loses its appeal. That which is easily acquired has little value. If you're the girl that has had more than three boyfriends in the last month, keep right on walking. Don't even open your mouth to talk. Why should he make a commitment to you if the other guy that's "just friends" gets the same stuff a boyfriend would? Oops, I'll leave that alone.

9) Don't be impossible. Don't take #9 too far. Some of us don't have a patience level that lasts more than 2, 3 at the most, weeks. At least spend time with someone who's interested in you. This next part might sting a little... Most likely once he sees what you're really about, he'll lose interest.

10) Don't always be on the offensive. I enjoy verbal jousting (for fun) more than most people could handle in a lifetime. However, there comes a time when you just need to put down your sword. Heck, even I get worn out from it after a while.

That's enough for now. Use your new-found wisdom with care.


Crispy

Godspeed, My Friend

Earlier this evening I found out that one of my closest friends still at the college, who we'll call "Captain Beach Patrol", is heading to Iraq. He's heading up to New Jersey (of all places) to begin pre-deployment train-up 25 January. It is planned to be an 18-month deployment.

"And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Who shall I send and who will go for Us?" And I said, "Here am I! Send me."" -Isa. 6:8

Soon I will come up beside you and we will take the fight to the enemy together, as one.

We Ride Together, We Die Together. Bandits for Life.

Crispy

Where Do You People Come From?

Have you ever been so dumbfounded by someone's stupidity that you were sure they had forfeited their right to life? I respectfully submit, once more, the Intelligence Theorem: The sum of all intelligence is constant; the population is growing.

So, while I was at a review for my statistics class today, the teacher said, "I feel like this is my test now." Uhh, yeah, no kidding. You should be able to explain the junk you're trying to make us non-math majors memorize and apply for your goofy exam, considering you're the one with the degree in this. When one of my fellow students asked if she could, by chance, put some easier questions on the exam, she answered, "I wouldn't know what to put on the test because this all seems easy to me." Without missing a beat, over everyone else's laughter/responses, I replied, "Well, you're an outlier." She ignored that comment. I mean, she goes through these explanations and roughly 95% of the class is giving her the "WTF" look. I'm working on a new theory that after professors teach certain subjects for a period of time, they can no longer communicate with people who are not experts in the same field. For example, try talking to a doctor (one of the stuck up ones). After the, "Well, I think the problem lies within your... because the... and that reaction causes the..." Yeah...

As I told my Dad the other night, all I need to be able to do, mathematically, is count down from 15 or 30, depending on the situation. Why 15 or 30 you ask? Well, if I'm using a handgun, I'll have 15 rounds in the magazine. If I have a rifle, I'll most likely have 30 rounds in the magazine.
Anyway, back to studying for these pointless finals...

Crispy


UPDATE: 09DEC @ 1958:
I swear to God, people don't learn a cotton-picking thing whenever something happens to them. Just like the little kid who the touches the stove repeated and every single time is amazed when his hand gets burned. No kidding? What were you expecting? A freakin' cheese cake? Dolts...

Look Out, Someone Pulled My Pin

BareKnucklePolitics posted the other day about how "well" Cindy Sheehan's book was doing. On December 1, 2005, her book was at #5,263. 05 DEC 2005, her book is at #18,758. This, again, goes to prove that not all hope has been lost. However, the fight for intelligence is not over. Remebering the Intelligence Theorem (The sum of all intelligence is constant; the population is growing.), we find some members of society that are all too eager to offer their intelligence to others. I direct you to the most recent (at the time of this writing) review of The Other Lizard Queen's book. It says:

Fact, not fiction, November 29, 2005
A necessary read in this Orwellian nightmare where those who have never fought paint war heroes as cowards, and those who have lost loved ones in a war as profiteers. Yet this is not fiction, this is reality in Bush's America.

When the demagoguery of worshipping a president like a religious figure and praising a "holy war," in spite of all evidence showing the futility of it all, thrive, a reality check like Cindy's book is needed.

Well, Jesus Jr. just went out the window & you're now looking at Ganges Khan Jr. Where should I start? There are so many problems with this that the task of ripping apart the stupidity is almost too daunting even for me, but as I have always maintained, never give up. Starting with the first sentence (my comments in red):

"A necessary read in this Orwellian nightmare" George and The Other Lizard Queen should never be mentioned in the same sentence. Mr. Orwell can actually write and is capable of independent thought. That's more than I can say for "her". "...Where those who have never fought paint war heroes as cowards," You just told me why I do NOT need to read this book. You just admitted that the view of the author is skewed and uninformed. FYI - You contradicted yourself halfway through your first sentence. Well done, Mr. Intellectual Heavyweight! "...And those who have lost loved ones in a war as profiteers." You're a profiteer because you lose a loved one? I'm sure that will make sense once I finish reading your comments, right?

This leads us into sentence #2!

"Yet this is not fiction, this is reality in Bush's America." Isn't it amazing how the aforementioned skewed and uniformed author now becomes a reality writer?! Working that reefer again, eh man? Also, this is not "Bush's America". It should be the People's America, but don't get me started on that either.

Sentence #3!

"When the demagoguery" Just to be sure, I looked up your word of the day and here's the applicable definition (since we're no longer in ancient times): "a leader who makes use of popular prejudices and false claims and promises in order to gain power". What "popular prejudices" or "false claims" are you talking about? The last time I checked, 10 out of the 10 last suicide bombers were Arab Muslims. Shazam! Doesn't look like much prejudice to me! I bet ya the next 15 will be Arab Muslims too! F'-tard. I will, however, give you the false promises part simply because a government who wages war against an idea and not a tangible object is idiotic, at the least ("War on Terror"). One man's terrorist is another man's freedom-fighter - not that the cretins in Iraq are freedom-fighters - by no means. "...Of worshipping a president like a religious figure..." Ladies and gentlemen, the jackass speaks! Too bad that even a broke clock is right twice a day. Yes, I agree that some or most Christians worship President Bush as if he was Jesus come back. "...And praising a "holy war," The momentary comment of truth is made up for in this drivel of stupidity. A "holy war" is what the Muslims are waging. Don't believe me? I bet you this sick excuse for a human being would say otherwise. Listen to the voice in the background. He's saying "Allah Akbar". Friggin' amazing, isn't it? Using you're own target of Pres. Bush against you, he says we're fighting for democracy and the American way of life. Better luck next time. You need to learn to not just spit out the buzz words & catch phrases that you mean the media use. If you do use those words, you should still organize them into semi-coherent sentences that support your stance. Anyway... "...in spite of all evidence showing the futility of it all The futility of...(?) the American people's desire to believe in their leader? Or the futility of the not-so-holy-war? I refer back to my previously linked-to video. , thrive, a reality check like Cindy's book is needed." Last time I checked, we referred to authors that we liked by their last name. For example: "Remember that one part in William's play where the witch was like "Double double toil & trouble." That would be incorrect. Try this instead, "Remember that one part in Shakespeare's play where the witch was like "Double double toil & trouble." Amazing how that works, isn't it?

Jesus loves you, but I think you're a jerk.

Crispy

UPDATE: 05DEC2005 @ 2218:

Our boy also reviewed a certain CD entitled "Rahat Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan". That was the third CD of such a "genre" so I decided to check it out. At a quick glance, what language does that look like to you? Here's a what a law enforcement officer would call a clue: The title of track 1 is: "Allah Jallay Shan" which means (according to Amazon.com themselves) "Allah is Great and Glorious"!! Ta-da! Another scum with no clue and ulterior motives unmasked. *takes bow* Thank you. Thank you.

Also, her book is down to #20,279 - @ 2226.

Non-Buffalo Chicken, Drive Thrus and Retards II

I couldn't wait to get this post started.

As I sit here and my lips tingle, as my nose runs, as every breath I draw in cools my mouth and as every exhaling breath re-ignites a fire, I am well pleased. I decided to go back to the now-infamous chicken place. I place my order, nearly word-for-word as I did last time. It had been so long since I had actually had gotten what I ordered that after she read back my order, I wasn't sure if the total she gave me was correct. I pulled forward and proceeded to wait. By the way, Mr. Drive Thru is no longer there (imagine that!). They have a Ms. Drive Thru now. I also noticed that this marks a month, almost to the day, from the last time I wrote about my visit to the said establishment. Anyway, back to our riveting story.

So, I pull up to the window, we trade cash for food and as the bag passes my nose, my nose hairs get ever so slightly singed. Perfect! The bag is also about the correct weight. She hands me my drink, gives me my change & I'm off. I make it out of the parking lot and am waiting at the stop sign when I realize that this is going to turn into Part II of that first post. So, between traffic and the person in front of me, I get bored and start digging for my straw. I quickly retrieve it and proceed to insert it into my drink. I pick up the cup & take my first sip. *gag* Well, it wasn't sweet tea, but at least it was iced tea. I was still happy because tea can be easily made sweet, but chicken cannot easily be made buffalo (other than with Tabasco MRE-specific serving bottles).

I get back to my cell block, I mean, the barracks, and take my treasure to my room. I cannot express to you my level of joy at this point in time. I felt like Jesus Jr. Everything was right in the world. I sit down & unpack it all. They even remembered my two pouches of bleu cheese dressing that I ordered!! It was great; I almost was ready to sing Christmas songs - ALMOST. I opened up the black Styrofoam box which housed my food & there they were: Ten of the most beautiful looking chicken fingers I had ever seen, covered in buffalo sauce. I sit and eat in complete ecstasy for approximately the next 20 minutes.

As feeling begins to return to my lips, I just wanted all of my loyal readers out there to realize that there is hope for mankind. Even though they didn't score a 100% on my order, they came a lot closer than they have in the past. Don't give up on your fellow man... just yet.

Crispy

MRB Public Service Announcement 05DEC2005

Death to Allah. Yahweh Akbar!

This concludes our announcement. Thank you.

Crispy