Please Be Seated

Sit down before you read this. You should probably sit on the floor so you don't have as far to go, actually.

The other day I was shocked to the point of speechlessness after having a short conversation with a freshman. I was in the Trough waiting for my omelet when a girl came up and started talking to the person in line behind me. I had seen this girl one time before, that I can remember, because I was filled with the urge to walk over to her and punch her right in the face, for several reasons (one of which being where she was wearing this shirt). I remember her because she was wearing a red shirt, with white writing, that said “CCCP‚” and had the hammer and sickle on it. So, while we're standing in line, I decided to ask her why she's wearing a shirt that says, ‚“CCCP‚” on it. Her response, I will never forget, was “This shirt is really comfortable and I never knew what it was until I got up here.”

I just stared. I really wasn't sure if I should just turn around and ignore her, ask her what she now "knew" the CCCP stood for, ask why she still wears the shirt anyway, ask how she managed to survive, presumably, 18 years and had avoided ever hearing of the CCCP, cry, or just hit her.

Are you freaking kidding me? How can we graduate people from high school without them knowing what the Союз Советских Социалистических Республик (Union of Soviet Socialist Republics) is?!! Can we honestly say that this person is qualified to enter the workforce and become a productive member of society when that individual doesn't even know about one of the greatest powers on the earth just twenty-five years ago? Can you look me in the eye and say that you believe this person is qualified to live on her own? Can the parents of this girl truly say that they did everything they could to get this girl ready for marriage? Equal rights for all, huh? How about we just let her vote for American Idol and not anything else, okay?

The sum of all intelligence is constant. The population is growing.

Crispy