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Friday, October 15, 2004

"Shark Tale" (movie)... and a few others

*sigh*

It's bad when I start a post off with a sigh. From the previews, this looked like one of the worst movies ever made. Just another person trying to cash in on the great success of Peter Benchley's "Jaws", like that movie that was endlessly shown on the USA Network years back... Maybe some of you can remember the name. The movie was so poorly made that you could see the framework of the shark's body once the "skin" became wet, particularly in a certain aireal shot. But back to Shark Tale... It disturbs me that this is the second week since the movie's release and it is, again, the #1 box office hit and has grossed over $87 million. What the heck, America?

While I'm talking about movies this year, what was the deal with the Bourne Supremacy? Maybe it was just me, but it seemed from the minute the movie started, it was one big action scene. Lots of bang, boom, squeal, crash, and flash but by at the end of the movie I said, "Yeah, so?". Instead of wasting 120 minutes watching the movie, read this two sentence "Synopsis" from Movies.com:
"The retired assassin who has been going by the name of Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) and his girlfriend, Marie (Franka Potente), have been living peacefully in India. When a Russian agent (Karl Urban) frames Bourne for the murder of two CIA operatives, the agency attempts to capture him, forcing Bourne to face his past again."
Then Bourne goes and starts killing people. He shows up in some girl's apartment (who barely speaks English) and says hey guess what! You're mom didn't really fly off the handle & cap your dad and then committ suicide; I killed 'em both! And then leaves. Oh, he said sorry, then left.

If you do go against my advice and watch the movie, you'll thank me for trying to save you from this abomination against God and man. Ya know, maybe I'm being a little hard. The three "facts" we found out were that Bourne was born in the midwest (city & state given) and we found out his birthday, along with his real name. Based on the classic "wow, that movie/trilogy sucked" pattern, I expect that we'll find out in the third that that isn't his real name, birthday or birth place (and yes, they are [sadly] planning on making a third one). Sorry Universal, I haven't seen the script yet, honest.

Since I don't want to leave you down, I'll talk about Shrek 2. Shrek 2 is, by far, the one of the best movies of 2004 (not that 2004 was a year of outstanding movies). Honestly, don't miss that one. Rent it and watch it with the kids, the girlfriend, whoever. Good movie. More on movies later...

Be good!
Crispy