The BOB Acronym

Have you ever had to figure out what the intended acronym was for "BOB"? I know this sounds spaced-out already, but seriously, have you ever tried that? I must say the oddest result I came up with "Battery Operated Boyfriend". Try it!

Speaking of acronyms, that is also one of the things that I hate about the military. You know how it is, you see one of your buddies and they ask, "Hey, how was your weekend?" Then you're like, "Oh, it wasn't too bad. We left for our FTX on Friday at 1530 & finally got to our O.R.P. at 2145. That night, while I was pulling security, the OPFOR showed up. Then my M-16 jammed and I had to do a quick bit of S.P.O.R.T.S..." At this time you realize that everyone you're talking to is staring at you with that clueless, glazed over stare (which seems to be so common these days).
Translated that all means:
FTX - Field Training Exercise. This usually indicates that rain is imminent. Afterall, what is an FTX without rain & cold weather?
ORP - Objective Rally Point. Home base.
OPFOR - Opposing Force. The make-believe bad guys for the weekend.
M-16 - M-16. The P.O.S. (piece of stuff) the military believed, for so many years, was a decent weapon (rifle).
SPORTS - Slap, Pull, Observe, Release, Tap, Squeeze. What those random gyrations equate to is that you slap the bottom of the magazine to ensure it is correctly seated in the weapon, followed by pulling the charging handle (bolt, on most other rifles) observing the chamber for a double-fed round or other SNAFU (Status Normal, All Frigged Up). Then, you release the charging handle, "tap" the "forward assist mechanism" (pushes bullet into chamber all the way) then you can finally try to shoot again by squeezing the trigger. Sounds like it takes a while? It does. Would have been easier to just design a correctly functioning weapon, huh? (All hail the XM-8).

All that just to say that a 2 minute story turns into a 6 minute explanation simply because a civilian type asked a military type how his/her weekend went. I warned you guys I jump around a bit.

Food for thought:
If you were to choke a Smurf, what color would he turn?

Crispy