When Ideology Collides With Itself

Imagine this. You are in one of the most highly respected positions in society. People wait on you. Men, both great and small, open doors for you. You are held in high esteem. You are protected. You don't have to work. You can garden, write music, play with children, or do whatever you wish with your time.

But, suddenly, that isn't good enough for you. You want more. You don't want to be protected anymore. You want to go to war. You don't want to spend time with your own children anymore. You don't want a husband anymore. You get divorced. You go buy a Volkswagen Beetle and you stock up on kitty litter for your cats, all six of them. What happened to you?

So now you are a part of the workforce. You feel free and liberated. This is what that punk-ass husband of yours was keeping you from & holding you down. Now, now (!) YOU have a career! You are a career-woman. You're going to fight your way through this male-chauvinist-pig-dominated world all the way to the top. You'll show them that you can do a job just as good as any man.

A few years down the road. Now, you're in a managerial position. You just got the new Beetle Vapor Edition. You're on top of the world. You now own 12 cats. The movement for women's rights has been gaining strength this whole time. Your coworkers, even the men, have started treating you the same as the other men. You're "one of the guys" now. You've broken free from the traditionally oppressive role of women. But on this particular day, you heard a joke that troubled you. The guys at the office were standing around the water cooler and you heard a joke about women. This infuriates you. You feel hurt, offended and belittled. You decide to file for sexual harassment. Stop right there.

What I have just described to you, is the feminist movement. Women were held in a place of respect and honor. That wasn't good enough. You wanted to be "just one of the guys". So, you became "one of the guys", but you don't like the way you were treated. You weren't respected. Now, you complain about the way you are treated. Sounds to me like your entire ideology is twisted and you have no idea what you want.

If you're some shallow feminist and this has struck a cord with you, go home & kill your cats. Sell your Beetle. Get rid of your buzz cut and grow some hair. While your waiting for that, stop watching "Sex & the City". Go read "Gates of Fire" & learn about honorable men and a true demonstration of love. Get rid of you're 80's style high-shouldered man suits. Buy some real clothes, and if you're really feeling daring, go get some bras. Get your nails done, go to etiquette school. Stop hanging out with all your miserable, career-women, single friends. Start befriending people that have what you want to have. Learn from them. Go watch a sunset; go star-gaze. Start thinking about what life is really about. We're not here to see how many titles we can collect, how many backs we can step on as we ascend the corporate ladder or see how many cats we can own & still remember their names. If by some chance your original husband is still single, maybe you should see how he is doing. And when you can summon enough intestinal fortitude, maybe you should apologize to him and your children for what you did to them. The most important thing to remember, though, is that you can change. Your life isn't over yet. There is still time to improve. Don't worry about everything that you missed out on because you'll never be able to change that. Just change what you do now. That's all that matters.

Crispy