Life Issues IV

Today the Life Issues story receives another installment. Have you ever had to write or say something to someone that would either motivate them into action or completely drive them away from you? I have. I just did.

I like to have clear definitions and roles for the people in my life. For example, I would rather someone look me in the eye and tell me they hate my guts and wish I was dead, than to have someone who pretends to be a friend to my face, but talks about me behind my back. I would probably give the first person a gift card to their favorite restaurant because their honesty. The second person is more dangerous to you than the enemy. You know not to trust the enemy, but with the fictitious friend, you never know when (let alone the fact that) he or she will strike. You also do not know that the "friend" cannot be trusted. The disloyal person can be more dangerous because you place more trust in that person that you would an enemy. Disloyalty should be removed from your life immediately. You obviously couldn't trust them before, how can you trust them now?

I am a risk taker ("No way!" you say). If I don't know where a person stands, it will drive me crazy until I am sure about where that person stands. If by that email or phone call I drive someone away from me, it wouldn't bother me because was that person ever really on my side? If it brings that person closer to me, all the better. Now I have gained a close friend, or close whatever the situation may be, that I didn't have before.

Back to the clear-cut intentions of people for a moment - There are basically four types of people in your life. Those who add to you, multiply you, subtract from you or divide you. Those who subtract or divide are enemies. Or, as I like to say, those who do not add to you or multiply you are the enemy. I'm not going to go through a long explanation thereof, I hope that you'd be able to figure out who is who.

Adversity, or challenge, causes the hypocrite to reveal themselves. Likewise, that is the time that your friends will come stand beside you. For that reason, I like crises. It forces people to make a decision and pick a side. Another benefit to a crisis is that it is the time when heroes rise up and shine. Using David and Goliath as an example, Goliath gave David something all of his friends and all of his family could never have given him. Goliath provided a challenge that, if victorious, had the promise of reward from the king. Because David killed Goliath, he and his family never had to pay taxes again. If that wasn't enough, David also received the king's daughter in marriage. Tell me that isn't a good deal! Oh, I almost missed one of the best parts. David's friends and family could never have given him the giant's head to carry around as a trophy either. That trophy could only be earned from an adversary. Adversity births the situations that give rise to heroes. It is what allows the mediocre to turn into the extraordinary.

When was the last time you did something for the first time? People spend too much time in their comfort zones. How do you expect to change if you never do anything different in your life? Change causes pain. Do you expect circumstances to improve without you doing anything? Newton's First Law of Motion: Nothing changes unless acted upon by an outside force. You will only change when the pain of remaining the same becomes greater than the pain of change. Do you expect your boss to decide to give you a $5/hr raise "just because"? Put forth the effort now, then, in time, you will see promotion come your way.

There comes a time when you need to make a who's who list of the people in your life. Be honest. Write it down on paper. When your done and see that certain people are taking things out of your life and not putting back in, cut them off. You don't need any extra burdens. Am I saying that you shouldn't help people? By no means. Am I saying that should burn off the leeches that are sucking the blood and energy out of you? Heck yes. Beware of the person that is always making a demand on you and withdrawing from you but never depositing back into you. They will rob you of your time, money and energy. Go where you are celebrated, not where you are tolerated.


Crispy